My Muse: Victims of One Sided Affair?? How To Reduced The Pain

I love love, and am head over heels in love with love :)!! The thought of been in love and been loved warm me up immensely. Love doesn't make the world go round, love is what makes the ride romantic and yes love is what keeps me going!!!  My synergy is from love! I just love love! #grin

 Have read so many books about love, watched so many movies about happily ever after (not the Nollywood kinda happily ever after thou #lol). A lot have been said about finding love & falling in love, but the part of unrequited love is always ignore! #dunno y# Never knew that Unrequited love exist, but alas it really do exists!!  

   

When love affair is one sided it can be called RECIPROCATED/ UNREQUITED love or lovelorn!

  

 Infatuation, longing, and love can be agonizing when they remain unrequited; when you "love" someone and the focus of your love sees you as 'just a friend' (or not even that), that's unrequited love or as my very good friend will says: "the object of your love  is not just that into you".

  

  Unrequited love hurts, yes very much! It hurts badly...   Being alone is scary, but not as scary as been in an unrequited  relationship.
   

 I often wonder if unrequited love is a sort of self destruction? Why would anyone ever ever want to be with  someone who doesn't want them? #sigh   

    

Just as we can't make someone feel a certain way about us so also we can't help how we feel about them.#shrugs

     

 At times we wonder how did we get into this predicament of unrequited Love, deny it, get angry at our self for feeling the way we do about someone who is not going to give us the love we deserve. They might give us their friendship and support, but may not be able to give us what we want  most- their romantic feelings of love.

 Our reasonable side knows that been in an unrequited relationship is a pointless dream which will never come to pass, however our emotional side does not want to give up...
 
  As with all emotional distress, there are things you can do to lessen and even stop the pain. Try these tips and who knows; you might be moving on quicker than you'd thought possible.

So what can you do about unrequited love?

1) Wake up, you just have to  accept that they're just not that into you

Most of us have been brainwashed by romantic fiction to believe that enough determination will awaken within others what they don't know themselves,i.e if you love someone, they will automatically love you and if you really try hard, you'll get your dream guy or girl to love you just the way we want them to -sounds familiar?? this only works in romantic fiction But not in real life! Don't ever fall for this.  

 It may sound harsh, but sometimes knowing when to give up is the first step to real success and healing. Let it go.

2) Keep your wider life going, and growing

 Unrequited love hits harder if we stop meeting our basic emotional needs for companionship, creativity, and emotional intimacy (which can be gotten from good friends). 

Get outside, exercise, go and see non-romantic movies, call up old friends you haven't seen in a while. Keep doing all the stuff you'd normally do, even if you don't feel like it, as these activities will buffer your peace of mind and help you move beyond your forlorn unrequited love focus.

3) Glimpse the future in all its possible forms... Tell yourself "This too will pass".
    

Projects your mind into the future - to a time when you can look back to the present and wonder what all the fuss was about. Ask yourself if your "love object" will be worth it in 5 years or if they will fit the person you become by that time! This is a great way to actually start to naturally feel better.

4) Get out of the pit / Seek help

Don't die in silence, talk to a family member or a trusted friend. Evaluate and analyses the relationship. You need perspective to deal with unrequited love.

5) Watch out - it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you

When you love someone who doesn't seem to care for you (or at least not as much), it can be easy to agonize over why they don't like/love you the way you do love them or why they choose the person they are with instead of you!

 This is a hard logical battle which you will never win! The fact is, you may be the best looking, wittiest, brightest, most fun person in the world, and they still may not like you the way you like them.   

 Trying to get something from someone who doesn't have it to give is always difficult! If they don't love you, it's not because you've done anything wrong, Some people aren't very good at loving.

6) Tell yourself you deserves better.
Its okay to cry or feel bad when someone you love those not love you back...... *my say, if someone doesn't  love you, cry a river, build a bridge and get over it! life goes on!* 

 Moving on is difficult, but with time, all the feeling will resolves!

Loving whilst being loved in return - is what really fulfils. Focus on finding someone who likes you for who you are.  You'll know once you have found the real thing, because it will flow in both directions.

Love Always Estelle.........